Early in my marriage, my husband underwent church disciplinary action for his involvement with pornography and other unresolved transgressions. I felt confused, wondering if I had been foolish to marry him. But I was reminded of distinct answers to prayers I had received and felt that this was indeed where I was supposed to be.
I wish I could recall where I read a quote about temple service that said while we are serving in the temple our families that are not in attendance with us are blessed and strengthened. I decided to put this promise to the test, and I was very faithful in attending the temple every two weeks and putting my husband's name on the prayer roll. We did make it past that trial in our marriage, and things seemed to be all in the past.
Many years and a couple of children later, our marriage was again rocked by the threat of infidelity. I felt so betrayed and hurt knowing how long this had been going on. I wish I could say that my previous experiences had strengthened me and prepared me, but unfortunately I don't feel like I handled this trial very faithfully. I was very angry and very slow to forgive.
Many years and a couple of children later, our marriage was again rocked by the threat of infidelity. I felt so betrayed and hurt knowing how long this had been going on. I wish I could say that my previous experiences had strengthened me and prepared me, but unfortunately I don't feel like I handled this trial very faithfully. I was very angry and very slow to forgive.
I decided to stay in the marriage for the sake of our children, but I was certainly not there out of love. I felt so alone. There was a point where my husband had worked through his issues, but our marriage was anything but fixed. I finally realized that it was me that was making things the way they were. I had to let things go. When I finally let the Savior into my life and let Him share my grief and pain with me, things started to change.
When asked the question, "How has the gospel made a positive difference in your life?" I would say it has made all the difference. I have learned about forgiveness, both for myself and for others. I know that even when we feel alone, we aren't. Our Savior is with us and wants to help us; we just need to let him.
I know prayers are answered, and I know the power the temple can have in our lives. I have an eternal marriage. I don't think I would have any of this if I didn't have the teachings of the gospel in my life. I would have given up when things were hard, and I would have remained in a dark place full of bitterness and anger. I know that trials shape us into who we are and can strengthen us more than we realize if we are willing to follow the teachings of our Savior.
